


Meet the Stridalondes

by creeptastically



Series: Alternathstuck [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: All of the Stridalondes are LGBT, Dave's Bro | Beta Dirk Strider is Not an Asshole, Dysfunctional Family, Family Fluff, Gen, Humanstuck, In which the the stridalonde kids are one big happy family, Nonbinary Character, cept Bro, some really mild misgendering the fisrt chapter just a heads up, stridalonde family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-03-25 15:52:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13838052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creeptastically/pseuds/creeptastically
Summary: The Stridalonde moms, Rosalie and Roxanne, died four years ago, leaving barely adult brothers Broderick and Davis in charge of the chaotic household.It's ten kids, one mansion, and the world's capital of avoiding saying exactly what you mean.





	1. Bro

**Author's Note:**

> ALTERNATH Check the series summary for some more info on what that is.
> 
> Hi guys! So the stridalonde family is huge and to explain some of that I wanted to do a meet the players fic. I think eventually all of the families will get a meet and greet but as my favorites, they get to go first. There have been some name changes to fit everyone in and I'll list them here for you before we start!  
> Alpha Dave - Davis, Beta Dirk - Broderick, AR - Hal (obv), Davesprite - David, Jasprosesprite - Jasp, Davepetasprite - Peta  
> And they don't appear but Alpha Rose was Rosalie and Beta Roxy was Roxanne. They weren't related they were just the lesbian moms and everyone else is biologically one of theirs.  
> Lets go!

Your name is Broderick Strider, but you prefer to be called Bro. You’re twenty-four years old, and you have a semi successful porn site dedicated to puppet fetishes. You’re the oldest of the ten Stridalondes kids and you like it that way. Your parents had died four years ago, not that you saw much of them to begin with, and that left you as head of the household. You love your younger siblings something fierce, and want them to be able to defend themselves against everything. It’s why you spend most of your quality time with them in the sparring room that is the attic.

You also want to try and protect them from the worst of everything and that’s why you’re on the phone with the principal of Alternath Middle School.

“Look, I don’t see why it’s such a big deal to just let the kid use what bathroom they want,” you inist. The man on the other ends sighs.

“Mr. Strider, your si-

“Sibling,” you finish for him.

“Your sibling,” the man grits out, “makes the others uncomfortable.”

“You make me uncomfortable and I still have to talk to you,” you point out. 

“We just don’t want he-”

“Them,” you correct again casually. Elementary school has been so much easier. The principal there, Ms. Paint, had been a doll. Buck Quance was proving to be another matter entirely. 

“We don’t want them to be exposed to things they’re too young to see.”

“Peta has six older brothers, I’m sure they’ll be fine,” you tell him. 

“Mr. Strider, are you suggesting that you let your charges gallivant around-”

“I’m not suggesting anything other than that you’re annoying. I’m just saying none of these things are a problem. This is the fifth time you’ve called me to address an issue that isn’t an issue. I’m beginning to think you just like the sound of my voice and while that’s flattering I hate to break it to you but I’m the straight one.” On the other end of the phone Buck is making an strangled noise of silent fury. You let yourself feel a flare of satisfaction. You’re sick of this shit. 

“If you refuse to cooperate with us we will have to take up matters with the superintendent,” he says. 

“That’s fine,” you allow, “but if you breathe even a word of this to my kids before it’s been worked out my lawyer will chew you up and spit you out.” You hang up on him. It’s probably going to come to nothing, it’s blatant discrimination and you’ve got the money to back it up, but it’s still frustrating. 

You’re siblings are good kids, a little mouthy, but they behave and the youngest twins aren’t any different. You don’t know what it is about Peta that is crawling up this man’s spine but he’s beginning to piss you off. 

You can hear the noise of the four coming in from high school. Dave’s carelessly shutting cupboards and the fridge, the noise echoing up loudly in the otherwise quiet house. You smirk.

A loving brother’s work is never done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any questions just ask! :)


	2. Davis

Your name is Davis Strider and you’re twenty-two years old. You run a pretty successful political satire comic online. You handle most of the finances and shopping to keep the house in some semblance of control. Bro is good at making money but he’s awful at keeping track of it. Between the two of you, raising your eight younger siblings has been a piece of cake. 

Okay, maybe it’s not that easy, because you’re also here to curb Bro’s whacked out tendencies.

You tilt your head when you hear the door in the kitchen slam shut. Usually Dave is a lot more stealthy than that, trying to avoid Bro and everything that entails. He must be pretty upset if he let the door slam. 

You’re out of your room before Bro has reached the stairs. 

“‘Sup,” he asks you, holding a sword casually over his shoulder. You roll your eyes, not that anyone could see behind your shades. Dave tries really hard to keep up, but Bro and Dirk are fucking weird and really children shouldn’t be playing with swords. 

“I think he’s upset,” you tell him. 

“Nothing a little spar can’t work out of him,” Bro says. He moves to go downstairs, but you’re just as fast as he is and manage to stay in front of him. From behind you, Dirk watches the exchange with interest. You know before long Hal will be crawling out of the woodwork as well and then you’ll be really screwed. If Dave and David were like you then Dirk and Hal were Bro through and through. 

“Let me try first, you know the puppet only weirds him out.” You eye Cal, who’s draped over Bro’s back. 

“Cal’s the shit,” Dirk pipes up. Hal’s door starts to creak open. From down stairs there’s another slam in the kitchen. Bro smiles and tries to take another step forward. You sigh, you’re getting nowhere. 

“Just let me take a crack at him first, then we can all go beat each other into a pulp in the attic if that’s really what you’re aiming for.” Bro shrugs, but Hal finally emerges.

“We’re going to spar?” He asks, his own sword in hand. 

“Attic, now,” Bro grins and he’s gone in a flash, Hal and Dirk scrambling after him. You let go a sigh of relief. It seemed really cool when you were thirteen but now you’re definitely questioning your parent’s decision to let you and Bro take sword lessons when you were teenagers. 

You’re used to being the more mature one between you and Bro, even if he’s two years older than you. Bro hated being upfront with his feelings, and he didn’t open up to any of you. He preferred tough love to anything else, and it showed. You know he’s just trying his best, but you’d rather handle it when any of the kids were upset. 

You amble your way downstairs. Roxy, Dave, Rose and David are sitting at the table in the dining room. Snacks and work strewn out in front of them, as they chatter at each other instead of working like they’re supposed to be. 

“Hello Davis, have our other brothers taken up another round in proving their glaring masculinity?” Rose asks you. Dave frowns at her but David snorts. 

“If you mean they practicing the glorious art of swordplay, then yes. I’ve actually been sent to collect the other participants. Buckle up mini mes, it’s time to face off against the pointy shaded menace.” You jerk your thumb towards the stairs. David sighs. 

“I have an English essay to write,” he complains even as he shoves his books back into his bags. 

“It’s Friday, there’s a whole glorious weekend ahead of us to write a useless English essay,” you tell him.

“English class is crucial to our understanding of the people around us,” Rose argues. Roxy giggles.

“It’s completely useless compared to math,” she says.

“On the contrary, dear sister-”

“Dave, move it,” you bark. Dave is dragging. You know for sure he’s upset then, you’ve just got to get it out of him before you make it to the attic. 

David breezes past you to go retrieve his own sword from his room. He’s still grumbling under his breath. Dave is behind him and you fall into step with your younger brother. You both take the stairs, leaving Rose and Roxy to argue about Liberal Arts vs Science behind you.

“So spill it cool kid, what’s eating you. You came in like hurricane today, even Jasp and Peta aren’t that loud and I swear they both have ADHD and were put here simply to torture me. They never shut up, bouncing off the walls until three am last Saturday. I don’t know who let them eat fun dip because it sure as fuck wasn’t me, that shit was disaster of epic proportions.” Dave snorts and you smirk. There’s the crack you were looking for. 

“There he is, my favorite smirking brother. Don’t tell the others I said that though, they’ll be after me faster than church goers on the buffet at the Golden Corral on Sunday. I’ll be a dead man, Dave. I’m too young to e a sexy corpse. So you better spill because I’m risking my life here for you, Bro would kill me if he knew I was being this direct and honest.” You lay a hand on his shoulder. 

“I’m just over reacting dude, high school is a swamp and it’s eating me alive. Don’t worry though, you’ve taught me enough skills to beat my way out of it.” Dave shrugs. You give his shoulder a squeeze. High school in a small town is hell. 

“You let me know if anyone gives you shit, I’ll take them out faster than they can scream for their mommas.” 

“You worry too much Davis, I got this shit handled. It’s so under control the government is asking me for tips on national security.” Dave fist bumps you before he splinters off to retrieve his own sword. 

You feel better now that you’ve at least tried.


	3. Dirk

Your name is Dirk Strider and you’re the older twin between you and Hal. You’re nineteen years old and you’ve been doing nothing since graduation last year. You like robots, and you’ve got various electronic components thrown around your room. But ever since your moms died you haven’t felt all the way here. 

Right now you’re trying really hard not to get your ass kicked.

You and Bro are pretty on par with each other, but Hal, like with everything else, is way too good. He’s faster and stronger and since he’s smarter, he thinks and acts faster. You’re just trying to keep up. 

Dave takes a swing from the side, and Hal ducks easily. You take the opportunity to try and swipe at his feet but he easily jerks out of reach. Bro snickers and you catch sight of Davis’s impassive face from the sidelines. David and Dave try and corner Hal but he’s cleared then in one graceful flip. You hit at him while he readjusts but Hal parries. It’s an intense one on one match for about a minute before Hal knocks the sword from your hands.

“On your knees,” he commands. You swallow your growl of frustration. David doesn’t however.

“God dammit Hal, you fucking freak,” he complains. 

“Don’t get sloppy boys!” Bro scolds. 

“I think they might be done,” Davis tells him. Bro shrugs, but flashes over.

“Good work.” He ruffles yours and Hal’s hair and then flashes out of the room. 

“I think it might be time for dinner,” Davis says, sounding thoughtful. 

“It had better be time for dinner, I need sustenance to keep up this level baddassery,” Dave cracks. 

“Oh and are you going to help?” Davis asks him.

“Please don’t let Dave touch the food, remember what he did to the mac n cheese last week,” David pleads. They file out of the room arguing about how well Dave can or can’t cook. For the record, you think he can’t fucking cook for shit. 

“I think I might skip out on dinner,” Hal says. He’s looking at his phone, leaning haphazardly on his blade. You get up and lean over him to see what he’s working on. Lines of code scroll across the screen, a compression system he’s been working on for months. He’s still trying to beat out google glass. 

“Isn’t that the Captor kid’s signature?” You ask pointing at one of the comments. Roxy’s blares out from another a couple lines down.

“Yeah, I’m having them look it over for me. I’d include you too but you told me to fuck off…” he trails off and gives you a look as only another Strider can. You shrug. 

“And I’m saying it again, fuck off. Those flimsy screens are your problem. Phones are addictive enough as it is.” Also you know Hal could craft a better screen then you could in a million years, but you don’t tell him that. Hal just sighs and shoves his phone back into his pockets. 

“Well I’m going to try and piece out what they’ve changed. Tell Bro for me?” He doesn’t wait for an answer before he disappears down the stairs. You take a minute to collect yourself. 

The training room is set up a bit like a gym with blue mats on the walls and the floors. There’s duct tape over half of them from where you’ve all managed to slice them open more than once. It smells like cleaner and sweat. It’s probably one of your favorite places in the house. 

Your phone pings twice. Speaking of being a slave to technology. You swipe it open to find a message from Jane and another from Jake. You shove it back in your pocket. You should at least answer your boyfriend but you’re still feeling out of sorts after the strife. 

Maybe you’ll answer after dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

Your name is Hal Strider. You’re nineteen years and you kind of wish you were a little closer to your twin. You’re a certified genius, and even skipped a grade ahead leading you to graduate early, but you go to the community college to stick close to home. You’re social skills are pretty nonexistent and you’re sure that without Roxy you wouldn’t have any friends at all. Except, maybe, Sollux. 

You’re trying to piece out what changes he put into your compression algorithm. He has a habit of looping things that don’t need looped and it can make it hard to read. But he comments better than your sister so you’ll take it.

AR: Bro, This is impossible, can you not rename my aliases to give them two i’s. 

TA: no, it just looks wrong

AR: it’s just proper english!

TA: screw proper english, if you want me to make sure it works, it has to look right

AR: you’re breaking the code!

TA: thats literally not my problem, get a better naming convention

You groan, it might take you awhile but you’d rather comb through and correct all of Sollux’s i’s than show something so blatantly spelled wrong. 

You don’t know how much longer you spend staring at the screen, long enough that your eyes start to hurt. You rub at them, and scowl. There’s so much more work to be done and it’s getting late.

There’s a knock at the door.

“Hey lil man, brought you some grub,” Bro calls out, letting himself in. He flashes over to you, and sets the plate on the desk.

“Thanks,” you tell him, still putting pressure on your eyes. It feels a bit better this way.

“You should really turn a light on in here. I don’t think you want to be rocking prescription shades, do you? That shit ain’t cool.” 

“I think being blind would be a stellar turn of events. I could become the next daredevil. I would fight crime with a wicked cane sword at night and lay the verbal smackdown in court during the day.” Admittedly you don’t know all that much about daredevil. Bro snorts.

“You couldn’t argue your way out of a wet paper bag,” he says.

“You wound me. I’ve been learning from the verbal master himself.” You finally turn to look at him. He’s flicked a light on and is lounging on your bed. 

“And you’re a shitty student. Tell me young padawan, where’s your brother?” He looks at you over his shades, so you know he means business.

“Which one, there’s only like sixty people in this house.” You take a look at dinner. Chicken and green beans, Davis must have ended up cooking after all.

“Why your other half of course,” he says. Now you snort. This conversation is a crock of shit, they’re all only worried about Dirk anymore. 

“Haven’t seen him, are you sure he’s not at Jake’s?” You stuff some chicken in your mouth. You hear Peta and Jasp squeal from one of their rooms, before it changes into a chorus of giggles. Bro regards the noise thoughtfully before standing up. 

“Ok well tell him he’s an asshole if you see him. we were all wondering where he was at dinner.”

“I didn’t go to dinner either,” you point out.

“Yeah but you never come to dinner,” he says sternly and gives you a disapproving look. 

“Good point.” And then Bro’s gone. 

You stand up and stretch, intent on heading back up to the training room. You’re sure Dirk just fell asleep on the mats again.


End file.
